Lab grown meat has been a story for ages... heck, if I search my own blog here, I probably have a post about this topic from several years ago. It came to mind yesterday though, because one of our provincial radio broadcasts did a story on it.
For those of you not inclined to listen to that entire radio broadcast (I probably wouldn't either!), here's the Discover Magazine story on the same topic - a U.S. company called Hampton Creek saying they'll have lab-grown meat products on store shelves by 2018.
Sure, I guess there is reason to pursue this line of scientific research. The main "pro" being space exploration. I mean, if I'm in space for 20 years why not have a coffee maker like machine that will brew up a fake burger for me (quote below from the Discover magazine story):
The prospect of actually bringing these artificial meats to the table resurfaced in 2006, when Vladimir Mironov, then at the Medical University of South Carolina, proposed plans for a coffee maker-like machine that would brew up personalized burgers and steaks from cell cultures and growth medium overnight.
But seriously, a coffee-maker fake meat machine - right now in 2017? On planet earth!?? YUCK!!!
The discussed "pros" of lab-grown meat are as follows:
- in theory, cruelty free...
- in theory, pollution free and no impact on climate change (i.e. all the methane from all those cows! and clear-cutting rainforests to make more grazing land! and steroid infused animal waste leaking into fresh-water streams!)
Okay, fair enough... EXCEPTTTTT......
The they eat too much real meat! Let's grow meat in labs and feed that to them, the burger-munching planet destroying bastards strategy is centered on satisfying people's current desire (not "need") for meat products.
Instead... why can't we just stop eating so much?
You don't really need that much protein. Using the math mentioned in this article, that brings a 160 pound person to 57.6 grams of protein a day. And there's protein in everything - that muffin, the granola bar, your almond milk, the fruits and veggies - it all adds up, and doesn't take all that long to get to your recommended daily intake. Heck, most Americans (and probably Canadians as well), are already blowing well-past their required amount of protein each day.
And the other "main" sources of protein are better for you! Red Meat should almost be illegal, while beans are nothing but good stuff man!
Especially this part - gross!! (again, quote from the Discover blog story)
Artificial meat also requires a scaffold to grow on, a structure that will ideally be edible for lab-grown meats and must be stretched, or “exercised” periodically to stimulate growth.
I'm visualizing this correctly, aren't I?
I'm picturing the way beans grow up a wooden lattice in your garden... but in this case.. the lattice is EATEN by the FAKE MEAT that needs to STRETCH ITS FAKE MUSCLES in order to GROW and GET STRONG!!!
AHHHHH!!!!!! The Fake Meat is Coming!!! RUN YOU LAZY BASTARDS RUN!!!!!!
PS, this don't eat red meat story from the Guardian is a bit more in-your-face and funnier.
Should we give up eating red meat?
Before you tuck into that lovely juicy steak, it’s worth thinking about the fatal effects it might have on you, from strokes and diabetes to cancer and heart disease